Obfustification

Could my mobile phone bill be any more complicated?

I rarely actually pay much attention to them. The only thing that did draw my attention initially was that my charge was only $37. Eh? Further investigation reveals I paid my normal monthly amount twice last month. But why do I still owe them? Where has this $37 odd dollars come from?

I recently aquired myself a new handset. You would like to think that it shouldn't be particularly difficult to keep one self on the same plan rada rada. It never has been an issue before.

I also received a credit for doing some survey last month.
It clearly states 'Mobile Survey Credit $4.55'.
What amazes me, is that I was actually charged this amount, not credited.
How hard can it be?
My call charges don't align with my total credit amount either. (I am on a capped plan).

I rang Optus whom reasonably swiftly had me talking to a real person, even if i did have to go backwards through a few menus to find an option 'Speak to a real live human being'.

The lady figuring I was just going to whinge about my phone bill and how complicated it was started on the standard drill of going through all my charges etc.. Upon coming across the $36 charge which for reasons totally unknown to me, was credited from the last bill and then re-charged and included an advance charge aswell for next month... Pardon? Quickly it became evident that I did indeed need my phone bill explained to me. It was also immediately evident to her that she was unable to do so. Because it didn't make any bloody sense. I'm left on hold for 10 minutes while she goes off to clarify wtf is going on.

Apparently the sales people managed to reconnect me to my current plan WITH 'push to talk' aswell. This incurred me an additional $36 odd dollars for a service my phone can't even do and one that I did not ask for.

So we agree that I did not ask for said Push to Talk additional payment plan thingy and that's being erradicated and credited. So two credits there plus a change of plan.

Onto Mobile Survey Credit.. When the customer service rep you are speaking to thinks its funny I've been charged on what is obviously meant to be a credit you could only assume its not exactly the first time shes seen such an occurance. No problem there, that'll be credited too. Goodo.

I'm then told basically not to worry about the difference between call charges and the credit against that. Apparently it all miraculously works it self out by the end of the bill. I dare not ask for further clarification.

She goes on to explain that my next bill should make much more sense and be less complicated and it'll all be good. I know it won't be. Because I'm about to receive another bill with a whole host of credits and what have you that I need to check have been applied properly and make sure I'm not still being stiffed (again). I know I'm going to have to ring and have it all explained. I can barely make heads nor tails of this bill how much luck do you think I'm going to have with the next one?

I can't wait.